First Time Momma

Being a mom is by far the most rewarding, exhausting, heartcrushing experience of my life. It is crazy how you can experience such a rush of emotions over the littlest things. It makes me think about that moment on The Office when Pam and Jim click the pretend camera as a way to represent how they want to remember that exact moment, creating a memory. I think I have those experiences all the time and I have never appreciated them. Moments with Todd, or with my family, where I have wanted to wrap the memory up and put it in my pocket like a child collecting treasures. Now I see those moments as so fleeting as I watch Owen growing so fast and changing every day. I want to take out my invisible camera a million times a day to remember those moments - how it feels to hold and snuggle his little tiny body, when he kicks his legs in turbo because he is excited about something, or the first time Owen grabbed my sleeve while I was changing him and when I looked at his face, he was smiling at me like I was the most incredible person he knew (heartcrushing moment). Toni Morrison asked a group of women once if their face lit up when the people they loved walked into the room, such a profound message in a small act.